厳しい仕事だな...

I work for a large company with very conservative management style, super aggressive schedules and endless assignments. We have yearly performance review where each engineer is being compared to all others and they do a ranking thing to decide on your raise and bonus. I usually rank high, or maybe I should say I used to rank high, when I was the same engineering level as most of the folks. But ever since I got promoted and given a new title where everyone can see the difference, the expections and pressure of me to become a leader, a role model and the pioneer in my field has been tremendous. I was lectured and coached and reminded every week how I am not doing anything different from what I was doing before my promotion. They want me to be more visible, more vocal and give more technical presentations. But you know, that's not my interest and I know my strength is to really deliver very strong products out the door. I have been taking a lot of company e-training and learning (and applying) something new and useful here and there but seems like that's still not enough. I need to teach and mentor, lead and deliver, share and develop... the output they want are just endless. One person being compared to me is in trouble this year and will probably be getting a sayonara package soon. A few people will be promoted this year to my level and I will be measured up against them next year. I can pretty much foresee who will be able to kick my behind right away with the eagerness to do all that's required by management. It is again a matter of choice whether you want a more balanced life or to rank high. I am at a point where I just want to do what I enjoy and not to be bothered by the extra credit stuff like in school. But I guess there is no such choice... I can easily get ranked out in a few years with my past contributions and achievements all forgotten... *Sigh*

Life in Silicon Valley is TOUGH!